I Swear

A lot of my friends and family tell me that I need anger management and need to control my swearing. So I looked into it and one of the suggestions I got was writing down the things I don’t like but not using curse words. Here goes nothing:

I get really frustrated and agitated sometimes and get quite a rage

My counsellor says I need to work on it but it’s quite normal for my age

I do admit I never was normal or completely mentally fit

Don’t really care about other people, they can all eat sh…..uh...er…faecal matter 

Just saying

I admit there are things that I don’t really like in my own life

Like the fact that my parents probably want me to get married by the age of thirty five

I really won’t like that, and I’ll have to be blunt

And if the girl annoys me I’ll stab that cu….uh…um…..that girl

(I wouldn't really do that…it’s just…hehe…anyway..)

I’m kind of socially awkward; I guess I mostly stay alone

I’m not the cool kid in school, I’m really not that known

I don’t get much female attention; I’m not noticed by chicks

So I don’t care about them either, they can go suck some d…uh...Danish chocolate bars, they’re nice

I really don’t have anything against the ladies… or Danish chocolates…or people. It’s just humour…I guess…..I hope

I’m kind of a rebel; I don’t really like the system

 Their rules and policies; I’m not usually with them

Crappy education system, anti-gay policies and telling us to lay off the ‘grass’

I don’t really care about the government, all the ministers can kiss my a…..wait…they can kiss my…uh...aunt (?)

I don’t know why I would write that. She’s a nice lady. Just ignore.

I don’t have plans for the future, I haven’t thought of a career

It makes me sick but I admit, I usually dig a well when the 11^th hour is near

8 figure salary job or unemployment; I really don’t have a clue

If you judge me or hate me after reading this here, have a nice day and f**k you
yeah that's what I said 'F**K you'
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I swear I can go on and on. I have a lot of curse words in my vocabulary and I can rhyme. Anyway, good luck and mind your language........not.

The Ballad of an Asshole

I haven't posted anything lately mainly because I was too lazy to type what I'd scribbled. I did try to type some stuff but gave up succumbing to laziness (for the lack of a better word). You know what they say, 'Procrastination is the mother of all joblessness' (No they don't). Anyway it was today when I came up with a great start when I thought of something that blew my own mind : Assholes have hearts too! I tried to relate it to the actual body part and a person labelled as an 'asshole'. It was something really random and in the end I wasn't able to make the relation I was looking for but ended up with a really retarded rhyme that doesn't make sense: 

Assholes have hearts too
Their hearts are like the perineum muscle
Cause assholes might be assholes
Their predicaments are like colonic hustle

They might seem gross and hairy
Still they do have gentle hearts
But when situations get really scary
They can muster deadly farts

An asshole might be an outcast
But they still have a lot of grit
On your favorite list they might be last
But they still hold up after all the shit

I really need to find better subjects for poetry -_-