Sunday, 13 July 2014

Call the Cameras

I've been addicted to Elliott Smith...again. I seriously love the way he wrote his songs. His story is one of the most interesting ones I've come across and it makes me really sad and obsessed. His music is seriously addictive. Here's to Elliott.
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Baggy clothes and shabby hair
He holds a balloon of his heart
His mind holds not the slightest care
Yet his thoughts could take him apart

Call the cameras, they'll make up a story
They won't care, they'll spell his name wrong
He'll be the last one to notice it all,
He'll be gone by the end of his song, by the end of his song

His mind a Roman candle that burns with the sorrows he holds
His heart broken to bits, held together forever by cold
And his feet tired of dancing and dancing on pots of gold
Inside as beat up he may be, tries to appear bold

Call the cameras, they'll ask him to be there
They'll push him away out of their way
He'll move aside like he always does
And avoid it for he knows he'll be gone away, with nothing to say; nothing to say

He sang the songs of a tired soul,
His words put us in the warmest black hole,
But his peculiarity took its toll
They said his own life he stole

Call the cameras, they'll call it tragic,
And say it was all for the best
He'll be alive as if by magic
And we'll forget about all the rest, about all the rest.

Monday, 7 July 2014

What is Love?

A lot of  my posts are somehow about love. I guess it's got to do more with my age and I can't really help it. This post is more of a diary entry than a piece of actual literary writing. Its I think the most simple post I've written. I recently had the fortune of meeting this person and we discuss almost every topic under the sun. I'm really thankful to this person because it takes that one person to make things so clear and in perspective. I hope my anonymous inspiration reads this. 
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Love is possibly the biggest cause of misery in a person. That is a fact.
Drunkenness is its own kind of misery, true. But one may drink to drown the memories one’s unrequited love. Nobody asks if a drug fiend injects copious amounts of poison into his veins for he never got the love he thought he deserved. Nobody ever thought about the man who gave it all away because nothing else mattered as he thought he had it all for a moment.
I’m naïve. I really am. So I don’t know what really drives the pursuit towards love. Why we wish to seek its warmth where each of us thinks it belongs. How it belongs. How it makes us feel.
I tried looking for the answer in Science. Darwin told us we evolved from apes. Price told us altruism was an evolutionary instinct. Nobody told us what love is.
I turned to religion for answers but I got confused further. For it confused me why God would want love to exist in a fog of misery. Then Friedrich Nietzsche told me God is dead.
Maybe the answer is too simple but comes with only with a hard core pursuit towards love. Cause, while many scholars never find why it exists, a tiny voice inside your head still goes ‘It’s just love, silly’. It tells you love’s nothing to be afraid of. It tells you it feels so good and it does. Why can’t you be sure though?
I wish I knew the answers. But I don’t.  And quite frankly I don’t want to. I’d rather not. Geniuses over-think. I'm barely one. And as simple as I want to keep it I hope I’d feel it better. I know I’d feel it better.
We have all these complex terms and ideas of how love should be. How it should have all these unnecessary rules. How it should never be so simple. Why can’t it be so simple? Why can’t it be just a simple beautiful thing between two people?
I don’t have the answers to all those questions. I never will. But I know I always will have love to look forward to. To pursue in the depth of my heart. To ponder over.

But I know one thing for sure. Love isn't misery. It might not even be the cause of misery. It’s just love, silly.